Today is my last day in Assisi. I ask myself, why did I come here? Was I looking for something or trying to gain something I have lost? At the level of my ego, the answer is yes to both of these questions because my ego is always wanting, grasping, and hungering after something that can never satisfy me. But at the level of my soul, the answers to why I came are entirely different. I came here because I love Francis, Clare, Swami, and the city of Assisi. My trip had nothing to do with finding anything. Rather, my being here has been about the celebration of love and life, truth and beauty, divinity and humanity. I have experienced realizations as gifts freely given. My ego may not know it and may not want to know it, but my search for God has ended. I am perpetually in God and God is perpetually in me. Of course, the fruit of this knowing will ripen as my heart continues to open, but the knowing itself is certain. My ego will deny this knowing because it fears the loss of its imagined control, but my soul will gaze upon my ego with patience, compassion, and humor.
I am not lost or searching;
I am found and contentedly
At home.
