In reflecting on the spirituality of mental health, it is necessary to address the issue of self-esteem. In our culture we are obsessed with self esteem, bordering on a form of idolatry. As a starter, psychological studies show that self-esteem or a lack of self-esteem are not indicators for success in life. Furthermore, people often describe self-esteem as having a good feeling about oneself, a form of self-liking. The truth is this: people who ALWAYS feel good about themselves are narcissists. Trying to nurture good feelings about ourselves is like nailing Jell-O to a tree; it just doesn’t work. We would be wise to let go of the whole concept of self-esteem, at least as a desired goal. Focusing on self-respect is the proper orientation. I’m not talking about self-respect as a feeling or an emotion, but as a behavior. Self-respect looks like this: telling the truth, living our lives according to the truth, treating ourselves as though we matter, not saying things that weaken us, taking care of our bodies, making our beds everyday, dressing in a manner that reflects our God-given dignity, paying our bills on time, having healthy priorities, laughing at ourselves, apologizing when necessary, avoiding abusive people and situations, setting boundaries, saying no when it serves our well-being, organizing our lives around noble pursuits, making a difference in the world, and loving God above all else. When we live our lives with self-respect, the issue of self-esteem evaporates like the morning fog on a bright and sunny day.
As a child of God,
I will respect myself.
